Family Law

Nine Helpful Parenting Tips

By Ben Stevens

Even the most experienced parents can learn something from the following tips from Lucille Zimmerman:

1. If you've messed up, let your kids know and ask for their forgiveness. When you teach them how to forgive, they will know how to ask others for the same.
2. Removing a positive stimulus works so much better than punishment. The effect of taking toys, cell phones, or fun activities is longer lasting and you don't create the generalized fear towards you that spanking does.
3. People always tell you that this time of having little ones will be over sooner than you think. They weren't kidding. In a blink, your children are raised and you have the rest of your life to do what you want.
4. Remember that your children aren't you. Stop living through them vicariously. Don't make them be the greatest football player or cheerleader if it's your dream. Allow them to make mistakes. Allow them to differentiate; separate and become their own person.
5. Even if they act like they don't need hugs and touch, they do. No matter how old they are.
6. Don't make their bodies the battleground. How can we teach them to make decisions regarding sexual purity if we command control over their bodies?
7. Keep in mind that too much freedom is just as damaging as too much authority. The best children turn out healthy and happy when there are rules, but some flexibility and leeway for rules to be changed along the way.
8. I don't believe you can spoil a baby with too much love. Nor do I believe you can harm him by responding to his cries.
9. Call your own parents and love them the best way you can. Remember, they had their own wounds. No one tries to screw up his or her children.

Source:  "Parenting Tips - A Few Things I've Learned Along The Way" by Lucille Zimmerman, published at Examiner.com.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on July 20, 2009 (boomark / email).