Estate Planning

Sibling Rivalry and Caring for Elderly Parents

By Hull & Hull LLP

In her new book, They're Your Parents, Too!: How Siblings Can Survive Their Parents' Aging Without Driving Each Other Crazy, journalist Francine Russo writes about a difficult stage of life: the 'twilight transition' when boomer-aged siblings reunite to care for aging parents. This period is laden with new challenges – dividing assets, dementia, caregiving issues - and has the potential to inflame old sibling rivalries as adult siblings deal with the end of their first family and take over their parents' place as the decision-making generation. As noted by Ms. Russo in a recent interview with The Globe and Mail: 'There's a huge re-emergence of sibling rivalry over parents because when we see that our parents' time is limited, all the unmet needs we've had resurface: to be loved, approved of, forgiven….'

In her book, Ms. Russo interviewed siblings, gerontologists, family therapists, elder-care attorneys, financial planners, and health workers to offer practical advice on such topics as:

-          the negotiation of caregiving issues and dealing with unequal contributions or power struggles;

-          the making of major medical and financial decisions, when parents cannot;

-          how to cope with unresolved childhood rivalries and hurts; and

-          tips for avoiding conflict.

Click here to read Ms. Russo's interview in Monday's edition of The Globe and Mail.

Bianca La Neve

Full post as published by Toronto Estate Law Blog on February 10, 2010 (boomark / email).