Academic

As longtime readers know, I am a big fan of cycling generally and particularly the Tour de France. The old Gordon would have had a shot at winning the Tour de Donut, just up the road in American Fork, Utah, but the new svelte Gordon is unlikely to be a player. The rules:

It's simple. Race 21 miles and see who is the king donut! In circuit style, ride 7 miles, then eat as many donuts as you would like. No limit. Then, ride 7 more miles, eat more donuts, then ride the last 7 mile lap. Glory and adulation are waiting for you at the Finish Line....

Time Bonuses

Did I forget to tell you? For every donut you eat, subtract three minutes from your time! Ten donuts? 30 minutes right off the top.  Finally your appetite and your pot belly are your greatest assets!

One catch, further down the page: "BTW, puking is not allowed."

I know some of you were wondering about that.