Banking Law

The CFPB got off the ground and launched itself into cyberspace late last week, while many of us were focused on other things, like chipping away at 2 inches of solid ice on the streets after we'd shoveled eight inches of snow off the top of it. Of course, the weather service predicted a "trace" of snow for Thursday night. The same US government that does such a great job of weather forecasting is now going to reach out and not only touch you, but sensually caress your epidermis through the oh-so-current médias sociaux.

The CFPB set up a website. It's "clean," I'll say that for it. Can't say I dig rotating banner JPEG #2, which pictures a towering Liz Warren ticking off, on each finger, the number of ways she's going to stick it to bankers.

The CFPB's also got itself a blog, the first entry of which contained a nice video of Liz Warren, the un-appointed, yet fully annointed, Consumer "Protectionator," telling us all that she lives solely to serve as a cop on the beat. For her sake, I hope her beat isn't "Southland." That's a quality show, but it may not last much longer.

Liz is asking for suggestions. Got any? I know I have a few, but some cats named "Blunt Reply" and "Get A Job" (see the blog post for February 3rd) aren't leaving those of us whose primary suggestion would be to have the CFPB open its first office on the asteroid "Roid Rage" located between Ceres and 2 Pallas in the Main Belt, much room to voice our opinions. Every time a commenter rants about predatory banks and loan sharking credit card companies, one of those guys administers a WWE-like smack down worthy of Randy "The Ram" Robinson.

It doesn't take long for the anonymous ranters of all political persuasions to take over any social media site that permits them to ramble and drive it straight into the netherworld. Then again, I can't think of a fitter fate for this site.

If blogging doesn't grab your attention, you can always "Tweet" with Liz & Co. on Twitter. Just make sure to fasten your tweet-belt before you do, and remember: never drink and tweet. I violate that latter rule consistently.

If you're too lazy to read, you can watch the scintillating CFPB informercials on YouTube. While you're there, you can slide over to view even more educational fare, like the movie trailer for Brokeback Bankers.

Look, they asked you for your suggestions, so get off your duff and start submitting them! No Dennis Miller-like proclamations of "Hey, moron! Charles Darwin says Hello!". That kind of subtlety won't be taken seriously. On the other hand, helpful bon mots such as "I insist on Tube Sock Tuesdays" and "I strongly suggest you use a water-based lubricant before, not after, enforcement action is initiated" will be received warmly by Liz, Dick, Anna, and all the other soon-to-be new media mavens at the consumer's soon-to-be favorite hangout online. If you don't make suggestions, and--God forbid--this bureau turns out to be a freak show, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.