Academic

There'll be a whole lotta shakin' goin' on in DC at the AALS Hiring Conference next week.  Here's some advice for candidates and hiring committees alike.  Note that my handshaking priors come from Sr. Anne Dyer of the Convent of the Sacred Heart.  Sr. Dyer demanded a firm handshake from us on a weekly basis.  My three pet peeves, in ascending order of annoyance, are thus:

1. Women with a weak handshake.  Come on, commit to a good shake!  Reject delicate female stereotypes and grab that hand like you mean it.  I do realize, however, that many women are not part of the Sacred Heart sisterhood, so I'm pretty forgiving of this one.
2.  Men with a weak handshake:  I am less magnanimous when it comes to men.  They have no socialization excuse.  What, do you think I'm going to break?
3. Men that try to squeeze your hand off: I know, I know, I said a firm handshake was good.  But then there's the man whose handshake makes me wince.  Dial it down, guys.  I'm not privy to the niceties of male-male dynamics, but I can imagine men turing handshakes into miniature dominance contests with other men, mano a mano momentary face-offs to determine who's first in the pecking order.  Have fun with that.  But I'm five feet tall and weigh less than you do.  Your death-grip doesn't impress me.  It makes me think you're compensating. 

There you have it folks.  Go forth and greet.