Family Law

Joint Custody, Teenage Children and Business Travel

By ckramer

When a couple feels it is time to get a divorce, there is often a difficult decision to be reached, either by the couple or a court, on how to split the custody of the children. Add in the fact that the children are curious experimental teenagers and business travel, and the parents can be left in a tough spot.

This difficult area was discussed recently in an article from the Wall Street Journal.

The article starts out by giving a powerful example of the destructive power of a teenager, and social networking. An 18 year old boy, while his parents where in Europe, used Facebook and text message to invite a large amount of friends over—about 100 showed up.

The party, described as a ?rager?, ended up costing an estimated $45,000 in damage to the house.

The mother was at a loss at what to do. Her ex-husband travels often and leaves the house available to their son when he is gone on business.

The way for the children to be safe without villainizing one of the parents, according to the Journal, is for the former couple to work together in the best interest of the children. Adolescents are too impulsive and vulnerable to be left with the freedom of an unsupervised house.

A clinical psychologist and an expert on children and divorce, JoAnne Pedro-Carroll agrees, stating that, ?it is very risky for teens to [be] unsupervised for long periods? of time. Teens need a limits, and surprisingly, according to Pedro-Carroll, they want limits.

Pedro-Carroll believes that the best way to handle the example of the teen throwing a ?rager? is to readdress the agreement with the father. When teens have a single agreement from the parents on how to act and what their limits are, then they respond better. The difference in freedom from the parents in a divorce can be very detrimental to the teenagers when they are in such a fragile portion in their lives.

Working together can be difficult for the parents. After all, there is a reason they got divorced.

What kind of an example does it set for the children if the parents can?t find common ground on how to raise the children. When the parents have different views on how to raise the children and are unable to reconcile their views, the children are left unsure what is the correct way to act.

It may be a nightmare situation to come home to $45,000 worth of damage done by your teenage children, but if you and your ex cannot work out an agreement on your children?s boundaries, then it could become an unpleasant reality. And at least for the Massachusetts family that started the article, it is a nightmare that they cannot wake from.

Full post as published by The Divorce Blog on August 02, 2010 (boomark / email).