Indiana

Grandparent Custody Issues From a Psychologist?s Viewpoint

"1. What?s your role? You can?t be a grandparent and parent. If you take on primary responsibility for a child, that makes you a parent. You have to give up the traditional role of a grandparent who ?spoils the child and then sends her home.?

2. Who?s in charge? If you are living in the same household as the biological parent, make sure it?s clear who is in charge of discipline. This is the most common source of tension experienced by children. However it is worked out, make sure your grandchild understands the roles of the various adults.

3. Resolve the custody issue. Grandparents shouldn?t take on a parenting role until they have consulted with an attorney and obtained the legal custody necessary for them to make key decisions about their grandchild.

4. Get help. This is an awesome responsibility for most grandparents. Get help from other members of your family. The American Association of Retired People has a great Web site at www.aarp.org with a section devoted to this issue.

5. Prepare for the future. Taking on such a responsibility requires you to plan ahead and make arrangements for caring for your grandchild if you cannot."