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: Practical Paralegalism

Today's Quote: You Can't Touch a Paralegal for Poise

By Lynne DeVenny

However, between hysterical sobbing fits, Danielle mustered the preternatural poise of a paralegal to speak with the police: ?My hair was pulled and they accosted me.? Ashley laid down her own law: ?Technically, I didn?t pull her hair. I pulled her extensions, which isn?t really part of her.? ~ Excerpt from "Aftershocks hair raiser: Ashley pulling her way to her own Real Housewives of New Jersey spinoff show" (CultureMap).

I don't know what this catfight was about, but it made me giggle. I'm even more amused that eventually someone will type "paralegal catfight" into a Google search and get to this post.

I have no idea why these entertainment writers think paralegals have preternatural poise, but since preternatural means surpassing the ordinary or normal, I'll take it. (Maybe it means we're good at maintaining straight faces, especially when the going gets rough in court or other litigation-related activities, like depositions. No way can we jump up and hysterically shout, "You've got to be kidding!" when witness testimony goes south, or our supervising attorney remembers his exam questions are in his other briefcase - at home.)

What I've seen of Real Housewives between flipping channels hasn't led me to believe that anything about them is real, including all of the really big hair. I haven't a clue as to who Danielle is, other than what Google has to offer - but I'm pretty sure she's not a paralegal.

I'll have to add this deep philosophical question to the list of weird stuff that keeps me up all night: is hair-pulling an assault if the hair in your fists is synthetic?

Source: CultureMap

Full post as published by Practical Paralegalism on July 13, 2010 (boomark / email).