Family Law

Does Your Cheating Spouse Deserve Another Chance?

By J. Benjamin Stevens

Cheating has become more and more common over the last few decades, and now many of the divorce cases that I see involve adultery or at least suspicion of it.  Facing the fact that your spouse has cheated on you is difficult and can be devastating.  The following five questions can help you decide whether or not you should reconcile in those situations:

1. Is my spouse truly sorry?  Your spouse may say he or she is sorry, but it's more important to show it.  You should also make sure your mate knows what he or she did wrong. 
2. Can I handle reality?  Choosing to stay in the relationship doesn't mean denying what happened. Come to grips with the carnage your mate's unfaithfulness has caused.
3. How mature am I?  Because your spouse has hurt you, it may seem natural to want to hurti him or her back.  However, bringing up the offense at every opportunity or, worse, having an affair of your own, will only dig your relationship into a deeper grave.
4. What's changed?  Unless something about your spouse's lifestyle changes, he or she could be doomed to repeat the offense. 
5. How can I trust my spouse again?  Ask yourself what it would take for you to rebuild some trust in your mate and understand that this probably won't happen overnight. If your spouse is against the idea of regaining your trust by any means necessary, then you may need to ask yourself a whole new set of questions.

You can read more about each of these questions here.

Source:  "Does Your Cheating Spouse Deserve a Second Chance? 5 Questions to Consider" by Dalia Colon, published at AOL Personals.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on April 07, 2010 (boomark / email).