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: A Public Defender's Life in Alaska

So, to celebrate the end of another summer, and my 3 years with the Alaska Public Defender Agency (which was yesterday), I went to one of my favorite places on Earth, Tustumena Lake. The day was amazing. The fall colors stunning. The boat ran flawlessly. It is almost getting too easy. I am getting to know the lake and the boat. Where are the fires? The close calls? I am even beginning to be the guy. The guy who knows where the cabin is. How to launch properly. Where the water is safe and unsafe. How the hell did that happen? Jesus, don't ask me....how the hell would I know.....except sometimes now I do know. Of course I still have a million things to learn. I am not getting cocky...just surprised at all I have learned. It is days like this that really make a difference. I must admit that lately I have been feeling a little down. Wondering if this is all there to life. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way. I mean look at my girls! Look at my life. I am where I wanted to be. And after 3 years in Alaska, there is really no part of it that I regret or wish had happened differently, except maybe regarding the girls PFD. But they will get that. Oh yes, they will. I guess what I can't figure out is whether in life you are supposed to realize each day that you are happy? Or is it that you should realize that you have been happy? I don't know. I am rambling. I think this constant 'hunger' for a 'better' life that I feel is a good thing, even if it is something that I often dash my happiness against. I think my life will only get better. Soon the girls will be on all my adventures with me. I am secure in my job and professional reputation. And I live in Alaska. 3 years on and I still think it is the most amazing place on Earth. I hope that one day I look back at this and realize that I was happy. Well except that I cannot beat Jesse in crib.

Full post as published by A Public Defender's Life in Alaska on September 27, 2009 (boomark / email).