International Law

Whither Family Names?

By Stan

A light, throwaway post, but thought provoking nonetheless (h/t Foreign Policy):

Germany is renowned for fighting inflation, but the battle extends beyond money and into the realm of names. In a split decision on Tuesday, the German Constitutional Court upheld a ban on married people combining already-hyphenated names, forbidding last names of three parts or more. [...]

Frieda Rosemarie Thalheim, a Munich dentist, wanted to take the last name of her husband, Hans Peter Kunz-Hallstein, to become Frieda Rosemarie Thalheim-Kunz-Hallstein. The case brought Germany?s minister of justice before the court in Karlsruhe for oral arguments in February to defend the ban on what the Germans call ?chain names.?

By a vote of five to three, the court refused to budge, ruling that ballooning names ?would quickly lose the effectiveness of their identifying purpose,? and declined to overturn the law on the grounds that it infringed on personal expression.

I’ve long wondered about the logical conclusion facing the practice of hyphenating surnames. I’ve always despised the practice, mostly because it sounds so awkward, and in many cases, pretentious.

The larger problem that hyphenation was designed to solve is still valid, however. Two issues: should wives change their family name upon marriage to that of their husband, and should children adopt the family name of their father?

I think we need to admit one thing at the outset. This cultural bias towards males is a biological relic and makes no sense today. I’m no flaming feminist, but the sexism still rampant in the world today, including the strong and persistent ???? mindset in China, reminds me that only a few short years ago, we were all living in caves. Or, if you prefer the Kinks version, swinging up and down in coconut trees.

Why should wives take their husband’s name? The Western practice makes zero sense these days. This is one custom I am glad is not followed over here. Indeed, I think the Chinese system is preferable and should be adopted in the West. No one changes their name after marriage, including stupid hyphenations.

What about childrens’ names? This is a tough one. If we do not use the father’s name, and we don’t use hyphenated names, what’s the alternative? I suppose it is just as rational to flip a coin to determine whether the father’s or mother’s surname is used as it is to use the father’s name. Actually the coin flip is much more rational.

Somehow, I don’t think that will work, though. How about numbers? We already identify ourselves by number for legal/government purposes. How about just use those for our names?

Typical conversation in a post-family surname world:

39502756420: Hey, what’s up?

24629720418: Not much, just on my way to work.

39502756420: Yeah, me too. You watch the game last night?

24629720418: Sure did. You see that last-minute 3-pointer by 57128451389? Never seen anything like it.

39502756420: 57128451389 had a tremendous game. His stats are certainly improving. Coach 19268951473 must be happy these days. Look at his starting five: 57128451389 is averaging 22 points a game, 92587549962 is at 18 points, 77568259331 is blocking 5 shots a game, 1255571594 is averaging 10 assists, and 85216459963 55% completion percentage is fantastic.

24629720418: Amazing. I heard that 42375212367 promised them all bonuses of 50K for each playoff game they win. His father certainly never did stuff like that when he ran the franchise.

39502756420: Yeah, 42375212367 is no 56569147532, that’s for sure. 94441587526 in Sports Illustrated compared 42375212367 to 64821783596! He actually said that 56569147532 is worth ten of 42375212367.

24629720418: I heard about that. Pretty controversial. Times certainly have changed.

On second thought, perhaps numbers might be a bit unwieldy. Anyone have a better idea?

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Full post as published by China Hearsay on May 06, 2009 (boomark / email).