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: A Public Defender's Life in Alaska

So, yesterday I had had it. I had even had it with Alaska. It started with the boat. It turns out that I had improperly drained the heat exchanger and it cracked. Oh, I learned how to do it while taking the broken parts off. Then I had to go fix the cracked faucet in the butcher shop (which did not crack last year so I thought would be fine). I had to spend $210 just to get the studded tires off the vehicles, as it is illegal to have them as of Friday. I got paid yesterday but I spent almost the entire paycheck on the regular bills and a bunch of unexpected things. By the time I got home almost the entire check was gone in just one day. I was fuming. I was sick of the cold breaking and shattering and tearing and destroying things that need to be replaced. Stopping to get groceries for the family and animals that I knew would cost far, far less in the lower 48 made me even madder. Then, to top it off, on my way I stopped to get the mail as I always do. The mail contained a bill for $343 for doctors visits. I must admit it pushed me over the edge. Our godammned shitty State benefits. ARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHH. By the time I got home I was furious. Furious at the world. There was no way to hide it. April is bad enough in Alaska but it seems for me that it is a tough month financially. I was pissed. Nothing calmed me down. Towards the end of the night I was still angry. Thinking about even leaving Alaska. I was fuming as I worked on my chainsaw out in the workshop (luckily it just needed a new chain). Kadee was sitting beside me on a stool. I wasn't talking much as I was lost deep in my anger. Kadee was looking around the shop and listening to the chicks, who have been moved out of the spare bathroom to the shop. The, suddenly, out of the blue, Kadee said "wow dada you have a lot of stuff". Wow. It just put it all in perspective. It was like a needle deflated the ball of anger I had been carrying and building all day. Wow dada you have a lot of stuff. Thank you Kadee. I love you.

Full post as published by A Public Defender's Life in Alaska on April 30, 2009 (boomark / email).