Law Students

Tantrum Troubles

By Anonymous

Landon has suddenly become a two year old. Not quite yet in age (his birthday is July 15th), but definitely in temperment. He's still usually the adorable, funny, cuddly little boy of the past several months, but he's spending an increasing amount of time as a frustrated, angry, screaming toddler.

Up until this point his few tantrums were over easily identified things like not being able to have graham crackers for every meal, not wanting to come inside, or not being able to splash in the dogs' water bowl. These I can deal with. I stick to my guns and relocate him to a carpeted surface where he can flop about in relative safety. I found that most of the time it only takes a few seconds for him to get over it, or if it seems like this one is going to last, I'll start reading a book out loud and he'll come over to join me, tears of outrage forgotten.

But now there are times I have no idea what he's suddenly so mad about and I'm not entirely sure he knows either. He's just mad. And he wants to scream about it, at my feet and between my legs, until his face turns red and sweaty. I don't know what to do about these. He doesn't seem to want anything, there's been no change in activity or location, he just kind of flips out. And he only does this with me.

This morning when I went to get him from his crib he immediately started shaking his head, kicking and screaming, and yelling "No No No". He swatted at my hands when I went to get him, so I just left the room and fed the cat. I came back in about 30 seconds later and asked if he wanted to get down, I think he did, but he was still screaming No! and kicking the rails of the crib, so I said "okay, I'll get you when you stop screaming" and left again. Repeat this about 4 more times and he finally answered "yes" when I asked if he wanted to get down and then he was good for most of the rest of the morning. What on Earth is that about?! He does that a lot when we're home at night too. JP is coaching until 7:45 and I'm alone with him, and I'm still a little sick, and very tired, and he just screams at my feet regardless of what I do (he screams when I pick him up too). And then suddenly he'll stop and be so charming and funny and sweet that I almost can't believe he was so awful a few minutes before.

I worked until nearly 2 a.m. last night and will work at least that late tonight (major deadline this Friday), and I want to cherish that 5:30-8 p.m. block of time I get to spend with Landon in the evenings (he doesn't ever see me work- my laptop, blackberry, and cell phone stay in my bag until he's down). But yesterday I lingered outside the daycare door almost dreading going in because I couldn't handle another 30+ minute fit of rage on my own. He quite literally acts like he's possessed. And then suddenly he won't be- and his stopping seems to have nothing to do with what I'm doing about it. It makes me want to throw a tantrum of my own when JP finally walks in the door.

I hate that I dread our time alone together. I hate that I don't know how to help him calm down - books, going outside, music, my ignoring him, change of location, etc. seem to have no consistent effect. I finally started him removing him from the room I'm in (we have a very open floor plan so he can still see me) and telling him that when he stops screaming he can come back to the kitchen (or wherever I am). Oddly enough that seems to help the fastest, though I feel bad just giving up and removing my sobbing child from my presence becuase I simply can't deal with it.

Sigh... he is still wonderful most of the time, I just wish I better knew how to help him calm the angry 2-year-old within.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on April 28, 2009 (boomark / email).