Practice Management

I think that normally a parade maker refers to someone that consistently drives under the speed limit, causing a backup of autos and, in cities like Houston, creating untold levels of frustration.

I am here to tell you that there are parade makers in court as well.

Courts unfortunately still resort to cattle calls of sorts in which they book an extraordinary number of cases or matters for the same couple of hours, with no real thought as to how they might get through them all in time.  It leads to backlogs, delays and annoyances.  Aggravation really.  A bother.  Agitation.  Irritation.  It is a bummer when it happens.  And over time it makes any lawyer feel to some degree defeated, hindered, troubled or dissatisfied.  After 23 years of having to put up with this, let me just say I am not as patient with it as I use to be.  Intolerant is probably the word.  It has left me at times less even-tempered as I use to be.

I have got to admit that it is much better than it was when I started practicing law.  I got tired of hearing our bankruptcy courts in the 90s saying things like, "Okay, its 4:00 in the afternoon and we have finished out 9 o'clock docket.  Let's call the 1:30 docket".  Back then, with the increase of cases and lack of new bankruptcy judgeships, it was not uncommon to be in court from nine in the morning to eight o'clock or later at night if you had unresolved matters.  Back then either my wife or I had to go pick up our four children from "after school" and sit them in the back of the courtroom.

Of course it did not help, and it does not help, that some judges do not seek to streamline dockets and court appearances better than they do.  I have often thought that probably 75% of what a judge does (and especially a federal judge) is administrative.  Some of them are very good at management issues, and some of them are very bad at it.  (I am not stupid enough to tell you which judges are and which are not good at this task).  After all, that is not what the powers that be look for in a person when contemplating a judicial appointment.  A top litigator at a big firm, does not mean the person has any management skills of which to speak.

All of that said, especially at management conferences, docket calls and preliminary-type hearings, I usually sit, biding my time, quietly steaming at lawyers that are parade makers.  You know the type.  They cannot answer a question directly when place to them by the judge, they are always off subject, they are verbose, they are not ready for the task at hand, they wish to dwell heavily on inconsequential things, or they pride themselves in being whiners and tattletales.  And, the ones that seem to need to ask a ton of questions and constantly attempt to clarify every point the judge makes are especially bothersome.

Enough already!  Please figure out the purpose of the hearing, the court's rules on preparing for the hearing, the deadlines and documents that need to be generated before the hearing, speak to opposing counsel before you get to the hearing, and please get to the point.  Do not stray off the matter at hand.  Do not grandstand.  Do not try to score points or jabs.  This is not a boxing match.  And, here is a hint.  If you are at a pre-trial hearing try just announcing that the joint pre-trial order has been filed, the lawyers have filed all other documents, the parties are in complaiance with the court's requirements,  AND THAT YOU ARE READY!  And, do not try to tell the judge that opposing counsel is a dick.  We all know he is, as we all know you are, and the plaintiff is, and defendant is, because the case has not settled.  It has not settled for some reason and it is usually that everybody involved is being a little dickish.  Right?  You simply cannot live together in litigation that long and not have some hard feelings going around.  So, get over it, get on point, and get ready for trial.

Here is another hint.  If you are at a docket call and the judge asks you how long it is going to take to try this case, do not start in with the history of the world and try to move forward from there.  Just tell the judge a day or two or a week or whatever it will ACTUALLY take, and move on.  The Court is not going to prejudge your case at the docket call, so move it along.  Get out of my way.  I want to make my announcement and go back to the office where the real work is done.

Maybe it would be helpful for those who take so long to actually try being prepared when showing up at court.

We all know courts can get crowded.  So, let us all try harder to move it along.  Shall we?  Do not be a parade maker.