Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Miscellaneous Blogs -> Begging the Question

Miscellaneous

: Begging the Question

Teapot Dome Scandal

By "Milbarge" and "Fitz-Hume"

We had our office holiday party the other day. We do one of those gift exchanges where everyone contributes a gift, then they draw numbers, and we go around with the option of taking an unwrapped gift or stealing someone else's already-opened gift. We call it a Yankee Swap, but it goes by other names. I'm sure you're familiar. A note, though -- we do generally try to get useful or wanted gifts, not the humorous or useless gifts one sometimes sees in these events. There are usually a few funny ones, but rarely a pure "white elephant."

Anyway, my turn came about a third of the way in, and amazingly, there had not been a single steal by then. I decided to steal my neighbor's gift, a nice housewares product. It was stolen from me pretty quickly thereafter. I decided to take my chances on something still on the table, and ended up with a decent gift -- a gift card to a store I don't go to very often. But it was at least something I could use. Naturally, it too was stolen, and I faced a dilemma. I wasn't particularly thrilled with any of the unwrapped gifts, and there were still a lot unopened. So I once again rolled the dice and opened one up.

I peeled back the paper and it started to dawn on me. Short, stout, handle, spout -- check, check, check, check. Yes, it was a little teapot. With a little teacup! Just to rule out the faint possibility that someone had just used the box to wrap a better gift, I even opened the box. Nope, still a teapot. I heard a couple of "Oh, that's cute" mumbles from the older ladies among us, but mostly I noticed stifled laughter. And sure enough, we finished the game without anyone taking so much as a second glance at my white elephant.

The kookiest thing about it was the instructions, including these: "1. Boil good water. 2. Give yourself the pleasure of using one of the many high quality teas available today. 5. Sit down with a lovely cup of tea. Take a moment to admire what a pretty scene you've created." Yeah, I'll get right on that. And to top it off, the box had a Barnes & Noble label on it, meaning that someone went in a Barnes & Noble, looked around at all the useful, noncraptacular gifts available today, and picked this gem. (The idea is so unlikely that I'm convinced someone just regifted.)

I don't want to disparage whoever brought this thing. I'm sure it would be a fine gift for someone who drinks tea. I don't (at least not hot tea). Of course, someone who drinks hot tea would already have plenty of teapots and teacups. So the box sat on the edge of my desk for a few days, with me occasionally pondering just what the hell to do with it. I knew I would never use it. I didn't know anyone to give it to. I figured it would sit on a shelf or in my attic until I could take it to Goodwill to give it away.

And then, a Christmas miracle! One of my co-workers came in my office and asked, "Are you extremely enamored of your teapot?" I answered, "I don't think that's the phrase I would use." But she volunteered to switch her gift with me so she could give my teapot to some family member. I don't want to know about that family dynamic, but that's her business. I was rid of my little teapot! And even better, my co-worker's gift was a gift card to a store I actually frequent!

I was planning on writing this post before this welcome development, and it would have been a lot more ranty. But I will trade a better post for a better gift. Someone should write a short story about this: The Gift of the Magunk.

Full post as published by Begging the Question on December 22, 2008 (boomark / email).