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No Wire Hangars!: Celebrating the Worst in Film of 2008: The Razzie Awards

By Kevin Maillard

While many people will tune in tomorrow night to celebrate the year's best in film at the Academy Awards, a polar opposite celebration will be happening tomorrow to recognize the WORST in film of 2008.  The 29th annual Razzie Awards take place tonight, and I must say that I am very excited to see the winners.  Or perhaps losers. 

This awards show gives recognition to that brilliant genre of film known as "sobaditsgood."  This is very different than grindhouse films of the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes variety.  These movies were made to produce a profit.  And they are stultifyingly cringeworthy.  Scoliosisting, in fact. Perhaps the worst film of all time is Showgirls, with personal favorites/schadenfreude  of Mariah Carey's "Glitter", "Basic Instinct 2," and the all time, untouchable, hands-over-your-mouth, stomp-the yard, on-a-pedestal, B-A-D:  "Mommie Dearest." 

Don't &@$# with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo.  -Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford

As a voting member of the Razzie Academy, I am particularly supportive of M. Night Shyamalan's  "The Happening," which was spectaculary, penetratingly terrible.  One blogger describes it as "a dream -- not a good dream or a nightmare, but the really loopy, tammy faye bakker-on-a-unicorn kind."  Marky Mark Wahlberg did not feel the good vibration in this movie whatsoever. I ohmygodded myself at least 700 times throughout every minute of this cinematic delight of AWFUL.  Highlight: Marky Mark approaching an abandoned house in rural Pennsylvania with a rendition of "Old Black Water" as musical incentive to the hermits to share their food.

And the nominees.....

WORST PICTURE

_____   DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS

_____   THE HAPPENING                         

_____    THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE                       

_____   Uwe Boll's IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE

_____   THE LOVE GURU

WORST ACTRESS

                _____  Jessica Alba / THE EYE and THE LOVE GURU

                _____  The Cast of THE WOMEN

                (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)

                _____  Cameron Diaz / WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

                _____  Paris Hilton / THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE         

                _____ Kate Hudson / FOOLS' GOLD and MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL

 

WORST ACTOR

_____   Larry the Cable Guy / WITLESS PROTECTION  

_____   Eddie Murphy / MEET DAVE                                                

_____   Mike Myers / THE LOVE GURU 

_____   Al Pacino / 88 MINUTES and RIGHTEOUS KILL

_____   Mark Wahlberg / THE HAPPENING and MAX PAYNE  

Full post as published by The Faculty Lounge on February 21, 2009 (boomark / email).