Paralegals & Legal Secretaries

Paralegal's Son Bakes Valentines to Show Brotherly Love

By ParalegalGateway.com

For nine years, Aaron and Eric Ware were virtually inseparable. Ever since the identical twins clasped hands in a hospital incubator, it was Aaron-and-Eric, Eric-and-Aaron. Eric dreamed up the mischievous plots -- switching identities at preschool, eating their birthday cake by the handful before dinner -- and Aaron helped pull them off.

But in 2004, when the Maryland twins were 6, doctors found a tumor in Eric's brain. Chemotherapy and radiation followed. The cancer came and went and then, in 2006, came back. Eric died in October of that year.

To cope with the loss, Aaron has found refuge in an unusual place: the kitchen. He started baking and selling cookies, with plans to give the proceeds to groups that helped his family when Eric was sick. The most recent batch featured heart-shaped treats, made especially for Valentine's Day.

"People always ask how we're doing," said his mother, Angela Ware. "I say we're adjusting. And Aaron is adjusting by pouring his heart into his baking."

Psychologists have written volumes about "twinless twins" and the special sense of aloneness they sometimes feel. For many, the loss of a twin comes with a heavy dose of survivor guilt. Even looking in the mirror can be a painful reminder.

Angela Ware said she and her husband have struggled, as has their older son. "But Aaron? I can't even imagine," she said. "Sometimes he will tell me that he feels like he has a hole inside of him, that something's missing."

In search of a fresh start, the family moved from Mitchellville to St. Mary's County. Aaron enrolled in grief counseling. Even so, it's been difficult for him, his parents say, without the twin who seemed to sense his every thought.

"He was awesome," Aaron said of Eric.

Late last year, the family's pediatrician, Marilyn Corder, asked Aaron what he loved to do.

"I love to bake," he told her.

Then start a baking company, she told him, listing the steps that would be involved: pick a name, find investors, purchase supplies, perfect recipes, set prices and find customers.

Corder handed Aaron a $20 bill, making her the first investor in what he decided to call the Doughjangles baking company, playing off the name of the fast-food restaurant. Soon Aaron had backing from his parents, his godmother and an aunt. They equipped him with a black chef's jacket, cookie cutters, measuring cups and cookbooks.

At least twice a month, Aaron and his mother spend hours in the kitchen. His parents take the cookies to work -- his mother to the law office where she is a paralegal, his father to the television station where he is a producer -- and sell them for 75 cents each. Often, Corder requests that a batch be delivered to her office, too.

Last weekend, Aaron baked heart-shaped butter cookies dipped in chocolate, small heart-shaped rich chocolate cakes with chocolate frosting and television chef Paula Deen's chocolate drop cookies. Aaron and his mother love Paula Deen -- and they love imitating Deen, the sweetheart of Southern high-calorie cooking.

"Mmmmm, hmmm," Aaron said during the baking session. "These cookies are sooo goood! Mmmm!" His mom joined in, giggling, squinting and smooching the air.

Aaron has made about $60 from cookie sales since the first batch went out about Thanksgiving. He has kept some for himself, invested some in baking supplies and donated the rest to organizations that helped the Wares when his brother was sick.

From the moment Eric's cancer was diagnosed, doctor visits, health insurance and the logistics of caring for a critically ill child left Angela and Jeff Ware with little time to plan family outings.

National and local organizations helped. The Carol Jean Cancer Foundation, based in Maryland, sent the family on a make-believe trip to visit Santa at the North Pole on a real Boeing 737. Special Love for Children With Cancer, based in Virginia, sent Eric to a summer camp for cancer patients and survivors and sent his brothers to a similar camp for siblings. The Make a Wish Foundation sent them to Disney World in Florida.

The Casey Cares Foundation, based in Baltimore, sent the family to Hersheypark and to baseball games. Aaron's first check -- for $10 -- from the baking business went to Casey Cares.

"We were shocked," said Pam Goode, director of the foundation. "There are a lot of families that we get involved with, but there are some families that we get really attached to -- like the Wares. It just meant so much that he thought of us."

When Eric was sick, the foundation sent him balloons on his birthday. It always made sure to include a second set for Aaron.

On St. Patrick's Day 2007, the first birthday Aaron celebrated alone, another batch of balloons arrived. Aaron wrote a note. He told no one what it said. He tied it to a balloon that was green, his brother's favorite color. He walked outside and released it into the skies. (Source>>>)

Full post as published by ParalegalGateway Blawg on February 16, 2009 (boomark / email).