Family Law

Valentine?s Day Expectations

By Erin Kelley

Married couples’ expectations for Valentine’s Day vary as much as the individuals themselves. Some couples may ignore the day completely, while others may enjoy a romantic evening together to celebrate. While many claim Valentine’s Day is made up, my mother always believed that it was not a Hallmark holiday. She once told me it was much like Mother’s or Father’s Day. You should respect and love your parents everyday, but there should be a day of the year where your parents are honored for all the hard work.

Men and women have different expectations for Valentine’s Day. I always thought it was easier to buy for women than men. Typically flowers, candy and a stuffed animal can be the perfect romantic gift for women, but does that work for men too?

People use gifts to draw some obscure conclusions about the relationship. If a gift is generally given for Valentine’s Day, a husband or wife comes to expect something similar each year. If Valentine’s Day has been ignored or regarded as stupid during the entire relationship, suddenly presenting a gift on the 14th might be perceived as a product of guilt or regarded with suspicion.

I think we get distracted easily with what others do and get. Your sweetie may not feel that the relationship is as strong as a friend’s and their significant other because you aren’t as extravagant with the gift giving.

The best bet to avoid marital conflicts on Valentine’s Day is to stick with what you know. If you’ve never given a gift before, you might think carefully about why you’d want to give one this year. Likewise, if you have always given a gift for Valentine’s Day, your spouse likely has an expectation of a gift this year too.

Do you have expectations this Valentine’s Day? Was there a time when you were disappointed or completely surprised? Have you ever been with someone who had extravagant or absurd expectations?

Full post as published by The Divorce Blog on February 10, 2009 (boomark / email).