Law Students

Blank Slate

By Anonymous

Me: What are you thinking?

JP: Nothing.

Me: Nothing? You can't think nothing, there has to be something in your head.

JP: Nope. Nothing.

Me: I don't understand. Do you just not want to tell me?

JP: What? No, I really wasn't thinking anything.

Me: I don't think that's possible. You have to think about something.

JP: I don't.

[a few minutes of silence, JP lapses into sleep, grateful that I've decided to let it go, but he should really know me better than that]

Me: Okay, let's just say hypothetically that it is possible to think of nothing. Is your mind blank by default and you have to add thoughts to it or do you have to clear your mind in order to achieve nothingness?

JP, muttering sleepily: What? Are we still talking?

Me: Yes! I need to understand.

JP: I don't know... I guess I just stop thinking and it goes blank.

Me: But HOW, how do you do that?

JP: I just stop.

Me: Impossible. Doesn't something else immediately pop up? I think I have about 100 things on my mind at once, if one were to go away 10 more would take its place- there's never just nothing. I can't even pray or meditate without mentally going through my to-do list or grocery list or list of things I need to remind you to do, and even if I can let go of those I'll jump to planning out the floor plan of my dream home or wondering why the woman in front of me wore those shoes with that dress. How can you just clear all that?

[Silence. I suspect he's fallen back asleep. I firmly but lovingly knock my shoulder into his side to reengage him in the conversation.]

JP: What?! I don't know.

Me: That's not helpful.

JP: You should try it- just clear your head and fall asleep. Like this...

Me: I HAVE TRIED IT- it doesn't work. This is why I lie in bed awake for hours at night, I can't turn it off.

JP, mumbling and borderline exasperated: So I noticed.

[Pause]

Me: It's a good thing you love me, huh?

JP: I was just thinking that.

Me: Well at least you're thinking something.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on February 02, 2009 (boomark / email).