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: the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker

please don't eat the crack.

By "Nicolle"

my dearly beloved google users,

lately, i've been getting more hits than i can count for the terms can you eat crack. i have gotten at least three in the last day alone. the examples in News Crack Smokers Can Use must not be clear enough, so i'll address the issue in a bit more detail.

sure, you can eat crack, or at least try to. crack rocks aren't very big, so you can put them in your mouth. however, i can't testify to how easy crack would be to chew and swallow, or how good or bad it would taste to eat crack, since i've never tried to eat crack before.

[before you ask, the answer is no. i'll go to great lengths for you, my dear readers, but i won't eat crack for you. sorry.]

the more productive question, however, is whether you actually want to eat crack. there are a lot of things you can do. i can decide to stop typing this blog entry, open my living room window, and jump off the second floor of my building. however, that would be pretty stupid. i'd probably break my foot, and my roommates would get cold and have to shut the window. nothing good would come of it.

the same goes with eating crack. nothing good will come of it.

yes, you can eat crack. but, it's really potent when you eat it. it's too potent. one of two things is going to happen. you may be so repulsed by it that you throw it up. that would be no fun--you will have wasted perfectly good, smokable crack by eating it and then throwing it up before you actually got high off of it. in these tough economic times, you need to stretch your crack budget as far as it will go, and this contravenes that goal. that's not worth the risk. despite this, if you eat the crack anyway, you may get lucky. you may be such a crackhead that your body does not reject it. still, it will get you high. ridiculously high. so high that you'll have no idea what you are doing, and do something you'd never do while sober or even under the influence of smoked crack: like tell a cop how you just ate some crack and you're really high. doing something like that will make it pretty likely that you won't be eating, smoking, or otherwise ingesting any more crack for a very long time.

so, yes. you can eat crack. but, i advise against it.

love,
the persecuted crack smoker

Full post as published by the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker on January 30, 2009 (boomark / email).