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Cheney: "We Don't Need No Stinking Pardons"

By blueness

Vice President Darth Cheney, in the latest stop on his "Everything I Did Was Right, Legal, And Just" tour, has informed Deb Riechmann of the Associated Press that there exists no reason for George II to issue pre-emptive pardons to save the bacon of those who authorized and/or inflicted torture in the War on Terra.

Darth further opined that no one in the Central Intelligence Agency behaved unlawfully during any "interrogation" because all always proceeded according to the administration's "legal" opinions.

Finally, Darth hallucinated that the "intelligence" his minions obtained via waterboarding proved reliable and valuable because the waterboarders acted with "great discrimination" and were "people who know what they're doing."

The AP piece hit the wire but an hour ago, and is at present but three paragraphs long. I assume the wire service will at some point expand upon Darth's ravings; further extracts, as they arrive, will be posted below the fold.  

Full post as published by Never In Our Names on January 08, 2009 (boomark / email).