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Blast from the Past -- The Art of Feigning Sincerity

[I'm pleased to post an article of mine, originally seen in the October, 2001 issue of US Business Review.]

The art of feigning sincerity is practiced around the globe, with some cultures better at it than others. Rich Kuslan explains why he?d rather just be honest.

Comedian George Burns once famously affirmed that the secret of acting is sincerity. ?If you can fake that,? he said, ?you?ve got it made.? Perhaps we find this funny simply because feigned sincerity is an obvious contradiction. Yet, that one-liner expresses a profound truth of modern America: We habitually falsify the public expression of our thoughts.

Hollywood aside, no American institution is more rife with counterfeit feelings than the corporation. I recently began to search for a new position. Astonishingly, sincerity is the preliminary competence that must be demonstrated if one hopes to land a job here.

Interviewer: What was it you like about bartending?

Me (shifting in my seat and waving an American flag): Well, I think it was the people contact ...

More likely, it was the money contact. But the American finds it preferable to misrepresent the truth to make his motives appear more sincere to the listener. The interviewer, who saw through your insincerity in a trice, doesn?t fare much better himself.

Interviewer (taking his American flag out of his desk drawer and waving it vigorously while speaking with strained enthusiasm): Yes, maybe we have something for you. I?ll definitely call you this week.

And no one calls. What could have happened in three days to change his mind? Nothing. Quite simply, he was as insincere as you were. Having worked for non-Americans in foreign countries most of my working life, I can say with confidence that many nationalities score higher on the FSI (false sincerity index) than we do.

Me (smiling falsely): I work very, very hard; 23 hours each day. I only regret that I must sleep and eat!

Prospective Japanese Employer (smiling seriously, bows ever so slightly): Mr. Kuslan, while we are very impressed with your qualifications, I must regret to inform you that there are no opportunities within this company that would satisfy. May I say that it has been personally a great pleasure meeting you.

A straightforward, yet subtle and extremely cordial way of saying no. Japanese, whose strict social rules restrain individual action in virtually every aspect of life, have acquired a superior ability to feign sincerity. Couched in proper language, it is quite all right to give you the bad news to your face.

The Chinese fare somewhat lower on the FSI than the Japanese. They are expert in concealing truth from an enemy. But once you are friends ? and Chinese businessmen and women can take a powerful liking to you within five minutes ? their strong sense of responsibility compels them to tell you the truth. On the other hand, shame precludes them from personally telling you bad news. They will send their assistant.

Russians, on the other hand, fail the FSI test dreadfully. They are very direct and false sincerity means nothing to them.

Me: Give me a job! (jumping to my feet)

Russian (also jumping: I don?t like your c.v., I don?t like your background, and I don?t even like your face. We have nothing for you. Out!

Most Americans agree that honesty is the best policy. Yet, we lie through our teeth to appear sincere because we Americans treasure our ?feelings.? They have become a sacred space that few dare to tread upon. Feign sincerity, and the precious feelings of both recipient and bearer of bad news are spared. It is simply a cultural bias to be understood and dealt with, much as one would in Japan, China or Russia.

One reason Americans tend to be admired individually as business colleagues is their guileless tendency to be frank. After years of working overseas, it is liberating to be straightforward rather than circumlocutory. But my search has revealed that I?m rusty at feigning sincerity. I?d rather be honest. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Full post as published by Asia Business Intelligence on December 23, 2008 (boomark / email).