Legal Commentary

I was sorry to see the Queen of Dysfunction "go off the air," but she had a good reason for doing so. The primary reason I'm sorry that she's gone is a selfish one: she made me laugh. You can never laugh too much. Oh, you probably can, but anyone with a contrary opinion can keep it to himself (or herself). I watched the debates last night and I'm tired of people "parsing the nuances" of other people's statements. Give it a rest.

The other reason I'm sorry to see the QofD gone is that in a world of hard knocks, she took plenty of them while she was growing up and yet she seems to have made good, life-affirming choices that have allowed her to overcome those blows and grow stronger. She's witty, she's inspirational, and she seems like the kind of woman you could sit down with and toss back a few brews while you were having many laughs. In other words, a great broad. If anyone is shocked and considers the phrase "a great broad"  to be politically incorrect, then may I suggest that you pound sand. In a nice, respectful, non-homo-erotic manner, of course.

My wife's uncle died on Christmas morning. Great guy. A very successful wheat farmer in Western Kansas. Owned a hell of a lot of land. A naturally funny guy, he was one of the funniest men I've ever met, who could pimp the Pope (and probably would have if he'd ever gotten the chance) and make you laugh at yourself. Merry Christmas, Larry. I pray that you're hearing the angels sing.

My wife had foot surgery two days later, has had a lot of pain, and will be in one of those boots for six weeks. They fused bones in her foot, and will remove the plate they screwed into the bone in a year or so. Something to look forward to, eh? I spent a week doing what she does (housework, cooking, shopping, laundry, ironing) in addition to trying to work on my so-called "profession," and discovered, once again, that a woman's work is never done. I lost five pounds just getting off my ass and away from my computer. She insisted that she make it to mass, including the latest holy day of obligation, even though she moved at a snail's pace.

As a result of that injury, we weren't able to travel to Western Kansas for her uncle's funeral nor to another part of Kansas where her parents live, so that she could assist her brothers and a sister-in-law in placing her father in a full-time care facility and her mother in an assisted living section of the same facility. The brothers and sister-in-law did fine, but it was hard for all concerned, and my wife, being the little ball of perpetual energy that she is, wanted to "BE THERE-DO THAT!" 

While all this was going on, bizarre changes were taking place to my law practice, none of which I'll get into for a number of reasons both large and small. The world continues to be a strange place, and the practice of law a not-very-fun corner of it. I'm sure that doctors, accountants, and other professionals have similar complaints, but my slice of heaven is populated with lawyers and their dark doppelgangers, clients, both of which, at this point, I'd like to put on a slow boat to Botswana and seal the hold. Frankly, I'm ready for a major change of life, but, then again, you've got to eat to (1) live and (2) build our new church, so that may narrow my options. However, I'll be giving it plenty of thought.

Perversely, my professional blog has taken off. I recently started experimenting with accepting Google Ads, and it amazes me that people pay me for page impressions or click-throughs. Not enough to live off of, but certainly enough to more than pay for the blog and site meter. Someone else asked me if I'd be interested in writing for pay. Again, the pay is not much, especially in comparison with the billable hourly rate I can charge as a lawyer at my level of experience (mere survival has its rewards), but writing is pleasurable work, while the practice of law is, well, work, period. I think that I do it (practice law) well, but it has never floated my boat in the way that other interests have. Finally, someone wrote to me as a result of the other blog and asked if I'd like to sign on as a consultant to their firm, which "educates" businesses on topics, including my area of expertise. So, maybe "Some One Out There" is trying to tell me something. If so, it's always best not to be subtle, since I don't catch on that quickly. Hit me up the side of the head is always the better approach.

At any rate, change is the air.

And don't even get me started on the moronic partisans on both sides of the current presidential race. It seems to me that most of us are so busy projecting our own prejudices onto one or more of the candidates that none of us understands that every one of the people running suffers from the fatal character flaw that each of them actually wants to be the president of the United States. They're all professional politicians, a profession that requires that you check your principles at the door with your coat, and spin, spin, spin. Rudy ("9/11: I'm In My Prime Killing Time") Giuliani, Fred ("I'm Not The President, But I Play Him On TV") Thompson, John ("I Voted For Immigration Reform Before I Voted Against It") McCain, Mitt ("Buy This Used Car And I'll Throw In A Pair Of Lovely Snow Tires") Romney,  Mike ("I Had No Idea That Bookcase Looked Like A Cross!") Huckabee, and Ron ("MY Tin Foil Hat Is Merely A Disguise") Paul: pick your cynic. Now, Ron Paul may be more consistently principled than the others, but he's an inarticulate stumble-bum, and a leader has to inspire. He's inspires head-scratching, snoozing and channel changing. As for the Democrats, Edwards (the "Breck Girl") is a trial lawyer with nice hair, Obama is "for change" to something undefined and is otherwise the least experienced of the candidates, Bill Richardson brags that he "faced down" the North Koreans (the same North Koreans who basically laughed in his face and never complied with the bogus "agreement" he "negotiated"), and Hillary is, well, Hillary and Bill: two, two, two hustlers in one. The primary "principle" by which these people live their lives is to obtain and retain political power. They'll change their positions, lie about themselves and their opponents (called "spinning"), and basically say anything to obtain and retain that power.

And most of what most people know about these people they glean from television, the main stream media, or, more recently, the Internet, which fancies itself as some sort of "new media" that somehow eliminates bias and gets at "The Truth." Right. Read, as I did yesterday, one of these "voices of truth" who said "all liberals are stupid. All liberals." No, honey, someone who writes the declarative sentence "All liberals are stupid" is stupid. Having a loud voice doesn't make your opinion worth a warm bucket of spit.

So, we have hate, and vitriol, and venom spewing forth from every half-baked pundit with access to the Internet, who insists that their favorite candidate is "the best" and/or another candidate is the Anti-Christ. It's getting so I can't stand to read some of the people I have in my blogroll, much less many of the quarter-wits who comment on their blogs. Neither side of the left-right rift seems to have a lack of people with plenty of time on their hands and the brains of a gerbil.

You want to "hate" somebody? Try starting with yourself. Once you get yourself in perfect shape and you have ascended into Heaven, come back and fill us with the Holy Spirit for the "correct candidate." Until that pentecostal moment occurs, I'll consider most hateful opinions like I do most opinions generally, including, frankly, my own: everybody's got one. Unless you're the second coming of G.K. Chesterton or C.S. Lewis, I'm not impressed and no one outside your little echo chamber is, either.

I said, "don't get me started."

So, how you doin'?

Byah! The Remix