Banking Law

The Wacky World of Bank Law Blogging

Every once in awhile, I have to step back and wonder whether the creative (and often, emotional) release of spending an hour a day pounding out semi-snarky blog posts instead of ogling scantily-clad female hoofers on "Dancing With The Stars" or proving to myself that, once again, I'm not smarter than a fifth grader, is worth the aggravation of putting up with Millennial lawyer newbies who criticize me for a position on a point of law about which they know absolutely nothing (which hubris is, I'm told by parents of Millennial children, a characteristic of the entire generation, not merely those members who've made the bad career choice of lapping up the leavings of soon-to-be-exiting Baby Boom Shysters), or with the tin foil hat wearing nutroots who want me to render advice (pro bono, naturally) about their scheme to solve the subprime mortgage crisis "if only Secretary Paulson would listen to my great idea." At those points, a reader will often e-mail me a link to something that convinces me that the brain damage is worth it, after all.

The takeovers of federal savings banks IndyMac and Washington Mutual generated an unusual amount of vitriolic, borderline unhinged e-mail that vilifies the FDIC, particularly FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair, and proposes conspiracy theories at which even Oliver Stone and Michael Moore would laugh out loud. Because Ms. Bair's pro-consumer agenda is often a target of this blog, some of the conspiracy theorists have approached me to determine whether I'd be interested in rendering advice to groups of potential plaintiffs who propose to sue the FDIC, the insolvent institutions, the U.S. Government, individual agency officers, and, if I recall correctly, Al Gore, Pope Benedict XVI, the Dali Lama, and The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-And-Now-Once-Again-Known-As-Prince for violations of both the United States Constitution (with particular emphasis on the Second Amendment) and the Kyoto Protocol. Inasmuch as none of these inquiries has thus far been accompanied by a non-refundable retainer of $100,000 or more, I always end up deciding that their arrival in my in-box is exactly what the "delete" button was invented to address.

It was pointed out to me, however, that a post I did when Ms. Bair's appointment to the FDIC post was first announced, two and one-half years ago, has been turned into what every blogger dreams of: a totally twisted, inaccurate Internet meme. In that post, I made the following (what I thought to be obviously) zany comments:

For instance, is Ms. Bair the same Sheila Bair who won the Natural Bodybuilders National Championship in 1990? Can you see a resemblance? No? Well just wait until I get through "photoshopping" it.

If this is the same Ms. Bair, she appears to have dropped a lot of weight in the last 16 years. Can't blame that on steroids, though, since she's "a natural."

Unless you're off your lithium, you should be able to understand that the picture posted and the questions asked are part of a joke. Apparently, some of the recently-released inmates from our nation's finest psychiatric wards are refusing to stay on their meds, because they've taken the photo above to be an actual photograph of the FDIC's Sheila Bair, and they've made fun of her "cut" muscular body. One amusing message board discussion was cut short by a voice of sanity suddenly breaking in with the question as to what the "fact" of her being a bodybuilder has to do with the takeover of Washington Mutual.

So, you muscle fetishists out there: Here me now and believe me later! There exists a Ms. Sheila Bair and she was a bodybuilding champion. There also exists a Ms. Sheila Bair and she is the Chairman of the FDIC. Are they the same person? If Stevie Wonder gazed at both their pictures, he might be confused.

Here is a link to a video of Ms. Bair's fantasy dinner date with Hans and Franz. Which Ms. Bair, you ask? You be the judge.

Just remember to stay on your lithium.

Full post as published by Bank Lawyers Blog on October 27, 2008 (boomark / email).