Banking Law

Feel My French Fist of Fury, Hacker-Pig!

From Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
French Soldier: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he will be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
King Arthur: What?
Sir Galahad: He said they've already got one!
King Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?
French Soldier: Oh yes, it's very nice!

If what passes for the present-day French king has "got one" (other than Carla Bruni, that is), he's likely not got it any longer.

The French government was forced to admit that no one was safe from internet fraud yesterday after it emerged that thieves had managed to hack into President Nicolas Sarkozy's personal bank account and siphon off cash.

The unknown hackers removed several small sums of money from the account after obtaining Sarkozy's online access codes. An inquiry was launched after the president noticed the transactions and complained to the police, said a government spokesman.

The French aren't going to take this heinous act lying down, notwithstanding that "supine" is the national position when faced with a determined adversary, at least if World Wars Un and Deux are any indication.

"The swindlers will be punished," Luc Chatel, secretary of state for consumer affairs, told French radio. He said more work needed to be done to tighten internet banking security in France, which, according to the national crime agency, has seen a 9% rise in offences this year.

"[This] proves the system of internet checking [of bank accounts] is not infallible," Chatel said. "These cases are sufficiently rare that we haven't had to really organise ourselves, but [they are] sufficiently serious for us to reflect on how to improve the system."

That's a nice twist on bad news, that Monsieur Chatel spun, isn't it? The French, unlike the Yanks, don't have to worry about this sort of thing very much, since they're pretty much a cheese-eatin', wine-sippin', snail-suckin', congregation of domesticated poodles, while the barbarian Americans are used to this sort of lawlessness. Just one more spatter of mud on the pristine French culture thrown off by the grinding, oversized, tires of the Americanization Globalization Monster Truck. As if the pollution of MacDonalds' Happy Meals weren't enough of an affront, now the Gauls have to deal with this "cybercrime" merde.

They will punish the porcs who perpetrated this, however. Luc promised it, and when Luc promises something, you better believe this: it WILL be delivered. In a little gift box, tastefully wrapped, and accompanied by a baquette, a side of Brie, and a slightly chilled bottle of Francois Pinon Vouvray 2005, but delivered nonetheless.

We'll send over John Edwards to help you feel your pain, Luc. Please, though: no police escort for the former Senator. He's easily distracted by sirens, being possessed of the Pavlovian reflex to the sound of a passing ambulance common to all former P.I. lawyers.

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On another matter, an insider who wants to remain anonymous, e-mailed to advise me that the appraisers who are featured in my post of October 19, 2008, and who are suing Countrywide for (allegedly) blacklisting them, were deemed unacceptable by Countrywide because they're appraised values came in too high, rather than too low. The story in Housing Wire on which that post was based didn't explain that aspect. Most complaints about lender pressure involve expectations of inflated, not deflated, appraised values. It goes to show that the appraisal biz is a lot like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Some appraisals, like porridge, are too hot and others too cold. It takes a lot of attempts (and sometimes, apparently, a heavy hand) to find one that's just right.

Full post as published by Bank Lawyers Blog on October 23, 2008 (boomark / email).