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Suggestions for the Palin "SNL" skit

By "Milbarge" and "Fitz-Hume"

The recent rumor in that region where the political and entertainment worlds overlap is that Sarah Palin is thinking about dropping in on "Saturday Night Live." In the same way that Hillary Clinton showed up next to Amy Poehler doing an impression of Clinton, Palin would presumably meet up with Tina Fey's brilliant impression of the Governor. Here are a couple of ideas for how they could use Palin:

Palin sits at a table with two serious looking dudes in suits and shades. In front of them is a stage, so the set looks like "American Idol" or the like. We see a lineup of Palin look-alikes, including Fey, new "SNL" cast member Casey Wilson, former cast member Rachel Dratch, Megan Mullaly, whoever. Palin announces that the Secret Service always picks a decoy for the elected officials it protects -- they got the idea from the movie "Dave" -- and she thanks them all for coming for the tryout. She then puts the wannabe-Palins through a series of increasingly difficult and humiliating exercises. In the last round, the finalist, Fey, has to run a gauntlet like those police training ranges where targets pop up out of nowhere and you have a split second to decide whether to shoot or not.

Palin says Fey will be hit with the kind of surprises that could crop up at any moment on the campaign trail. Fey marches stealthily, armed with a shotgun. Palin calls out the targets as they appear: "Moose!" Bang! "Osama bin Laden!" Bang! "Crying baby!" no bang -- whew! "Follow-up question from the gotcha media!" Bang! Bang! Bang!

Or...

We see Fey as Palin giving an address from behind a podium. In the middle of the speech, Palin comes into the picture, dressed as Fey: jeans, hair down, Fey's glasses, Emmy in hand. The two size each other up for a while as the applause dies down. Fey, appearing flustered, breaks character and asks, "Uh, Governor Palin, why are you here? What are you doing?"

Palin, grinning, says that she figured that if Fey thought it was so fun and easy to be her, well, Palin would just decide to be Fey for a while. "I mean, how hard could it be? It's not like you're the Governor or anything!" Fey, insulted, snaps back into Palin character and says, "Okie-dokie! If you want to play it that way, gosh darn it, then bring it on, pitbull!"

Palin-as-Fey hip-checks Fey-as-Palin out of the way and starts giving her Fey performance: "I'd just like to thank the liberal Emmy voters for giving me this award even though no one watches my show! I call it 'my little bailout'! And thanks for recognizing that you don't have to be pretty to succeed in America, even though it sure does help! And especially, thanks for never questioning whether I could write and star in two weekly tv shows even though I have a young child at home!"

Just then, Alec Baldwin jumps in the picture, looking angry and frazzled. He appears momentarily confused at seeing Fey and Palin together. He gets in Palin's face and starts yelling at her: "Tina, this week's '30 Rock' script is a piece of crap! You make me look like an ass! You have insulted me for the last time, you thoughtless little pig! We're going upstairs, and I'm locking us in my office until this script is perfect, and I don't care if it takes all night!"

With that, Baldwin grabs Palin's arm, and as he starts to pull her off-stage, she gets a frantic look in her eyes and screams at Fey, "Tina! No! I wanna switch back! I wanna switch back! Aaahhhh!" Fey, smiling smugly, turns to the camera, winks, and says, "Live from New York...."

Full post as published by Begging the Question on October 07, 2008 (boomark / email).