Banking Law

The Beating Goes On (and on and on and on...)

Unfortunately, it's time to post this again:

I used to have post this only once every six-to-twelve months. Now, it appears I'll have to do it every three-to-four months. Eventually, I'll have to do it weekly. The deluge of requests for free advice are once again proving that there are legions of the illiterate cruising cyberspace looking for a hand out and, rest assured, looking for it in the wrong places. At the risk of repeating myself, let me repeat myself:

Unfortunately, it's time to post another rant for the benefit of those of you who cruise cyberspace asking for free legal advice. Do you understand that what I do for a living is to render legal advice in return for money? That's what the private practice of law is: rendering legal advice to people who pay me to render that advice. It's not dissimilar to a doctor charging you for medical advice, an accountant for tax advice, a real estate broker to represent you in the sale of your home, or Divine Brown to render unto you what she rendered unto Hugh Grant. Let's review: A service provider renders a service in return for which a client agrees to pay him or her money. Moola. Legal tender. Scratch. The root of all evil.

Please, for the umpteenth time, for the love of whomever or whatever you worship or mock: Read My Disclaimer!

Here is, verbatim, my most recent post on this topic, from April 3, 2006. It's worth rereading, so please do so:

Apparently, I'm going to have to repeat this post every couple of months until it sinks into the noggin of every reader who suffers from comprehension impairment.

From October 30, 2005:

I thought that my Disclaimer was fairly clear, but l"d like to reiterate something: I don't intend to render legal advice through this blog. If you are not already a client of my firm, please don't ask for legal advice from me by sending me an e-mail or leaving a comment. If you need legal advice, hire an attorney to give it to you and pay them for their services, as you would any other service provider. This blog is intended as my personal commentary on legal issues affecting banks (and certain other issues that might interest me). The content of this blog is not legal advice. If you haven't done so, please read the Disclaimer and my Comment Policy.

As my biography and the posts to this blog should indicate, I represent banks. I'm not interested in answering questions or comments of people who dislike banks or, God forbid, want to sue them. Although I may question some things that individual banks may do from time to time, I like banks. This economy could not function without them. There are many, many litigators who love to sue banks, but I'm not one of them. If you need one of those lawyers, you won't find him or her here.

Thank you.

Here's more, from a post in February:

Attorneys are knowledge sellers. That's what we do. You need legal advice? Don't ask me as the author of this blog to give it to you unless you and my law firm have an attorney-client relationship. If we do, and you're a client, expect me to charge you for it. If you're a reader who's not a client, don't send me an e-mail with a question such as, "Do you know a good free source where I can find the laws of these 23 states on the topic of whether or a not a bank chartered under the laws of Y state needs to be licensed in those states to do Z"? No, I don't. Hire an attorney to render that advice and pay him or her to render it. Also, if you're a bank's employee, I won't give you a "sample form" of an agreement so you don't have to pay your bank's regular attorney to draft it. You'll pay a garage mechanic to fix your car, or a restaurant to cook and serve you a burger, but paying for legal advice somehow sticks in your craw? Amazing.

If you send me an e-mail message that contains a litany of complaints against a bank, contains defamatory statements (and if you're going to accuse a bank of "steeling" at least learn to spell the word correctly), or otherwise talks about a problem you're having with a bank, I will delete it as soon as I get the first inkling of what it concerns. I don't want to know the details. Really, I'm not interested. You must believe me when I tell you that such communications fill me with inertia.

I also won't allow comments along the same lines to be posted. How much more plainly and simply can I state these simple policies?

Finally, why in the ever-loving world would you think an attorney would respond with legal advice to an anonymous e-mail? What planet might such a correspondent be from? One in our galaxy?

Ranting is over for this 24-hour period. Resume your normal activities.

Full post as published by Bank Lawyers Blog on September 28, 2008 (boomark / email).