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Mice at Play

This weekend TF was out in Vegas with his brother for his batchelor weekend. Also gone were many of his fellow trainers, off to get their RKC certification. Meaning there was a large group of girls whose boyfriends were out of town. I dubbed it the ?When the Cat?s Away Weekend.?

It started with a little bowling downtown. I ordered a cheese-less pizza with spinach and garlic and peppers, which ended up a spinach-less and pepper-less pizza because they were out.

I walked down to Michigan to get the bus, but it never came, so I ended up making the 30 minute walk home with my little box of leftover pizza.

A few blocks from my house I get stopped by a tourist. It?s not uncommon and I often ask bewildered people on the corner if they need directions. This guy is looking for Gino?s, but he doesn?t know which Gino?s when I inform him that there?s quite a few locations in the neighborhood. I find this strange, but it is not the strangest thing that will happen. The conversation went like this, I swear to god:

Me: Well, there?s one on Superior, which is-
Him: I?m from Montana, you ever been to Montana?
Me: Um, no.
Him: I raised a wolf as a pet.
Me: [pause] Oh. Um?.That?s?wow. ?Ok. Well, there?s another Gino?s-
Him: What you got there? Leftovers?
Me: Pizza. You wouldn?t like it.
Him: I?m in town for three weeks. I went fishing today and I?m gonna go to the Bears game. How old are you?
Me: [uncomfortable laugh]
Him: I don?t mean to get personal. Are you single?
Me: No, I?m engaged. [wiggle my ring finger, flash the diamond]
Him: Oh, that?s too bad. I went to the Cubs game today. Want to get some pizza?
Me: Um?[awkwardly hold up my pizza leftovers]. I already have some. And a fiancé.
Him: I thought we could go get some pizza.
Me: Well, I have to go home and walk my dogs. So?sorry! [practically sprint down the street]

Weirdest part about this was that it wasn?t in the touristy part of my neighbor hood, where all the people and things are. It was in the nice, residential area, which is why I really thought this dude was lost for like, half of the conversation. So I present it to you here as a lesson in not how to pick up girls in three simple steps.

#1- Don?t try to get a date on a street corner. Ever.

#2- Save the wolf as a pet story for at least the second date. It?s not the opener that you think it is.

#3- Know when to hold ?em, know when to fold ?em. Know when to suggest pizza, know when someone is already holding pizza in their hand.

The next night was dinner with the girls and then out for drinks. I dragged one of them out to a club where I was meeting another group of girls-nite-outers. My friend K is drop-dead gorgeous and couldn?t move for the boys trying to chat her up. Best bad opening line: ?I want to teach your martial arts!? So we spent the night testing out different stories to see which got them running the fastest.

All and all, a good weekend, but I?m happy to have TF back home tonight. I?m cleaning the place top to bottom in preparation for a week of snuggling on the couch before my flight to Dallas on Saturday. I haven?t really spent a lot of time thinking about, or acknowledging the reality and permanency of the move, so I can?t say a lot about it. Just the ?yes, I?m sad to leave but yes, I?m excited to settle down and start work.?

Full post as published by Cella Bellum on September 22, 2008 (boomark / email).