Legal Commentary

Trials and turmoils of The One on the rough, tough campaign trail

By Beldar

Quoth The One, on the subject of his many sacrifices, 'midst high-dollar donors ($2,300 or $30,800, the higher price presumably including unlimited shrimp and a photo op with The One) at one of two back-to-back New York events hosted by the (notably lesser) rock star Jon Bon Jovi and a neighbor:

"I hope you guys are up for a fight. I hope you guys are game because I haven?t been putting up with 19 months of airplanes and hotel food and missing my babies and my wife ? I didn?t put up for that stuff just to come in second," he said. "I don?t believe in coming in second. The American people can?t afford for us to come in second."

Opponent John McCain, meanwhile, has not been heard to complain about spending nineteen months riding on airplanes and eating hotel food on the campaign trail. Of course, his baseline for comparison is a five-year stay at the Hanoi Hilton and various of its affiliates.

Mr. Bon Jovi, an eminent political philosopher and theologian of international reputation ("We've got to hold on to what we've got / 'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not"), succinctly explained the difference between The One and Sen. McCain in introducing the former:

?You don?t have to be 72 to have experience,? he said, referring to the age of Mr. McCain. ?It?s the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. This 21st century man has an aura of hope wrapped around him.?

Ah, the hopey-changitudinous force field!

But little did The One and his Bon Jovian supporters realize, however, that Gov. Sarah Palin, a/k/a the 21st Century Woman, has figured out how to generate her own hopey-changitudinous force-field ? one which incorporates a caribou-hide, a briefing book, and a burp-cloth ? except that it's a superior version whose user is not rendered politically impotent, such that she can actually get things done from within it!

Tune in tomorrow for further adventures!

Full post as published by BeldarBlog on September 08, 2008 (boomark / email).