Legal Commentary

Meanwhile, in the convention hall

By Beldar

As I type this, the sound system from the GOP convention floor is cranked up all the way, playing Heart's galloping mega-hit from 1977 (my college graduation year, yay!)  ? "Barracuda."

All of the GOP delegates are transported with enthusiasm. This is classic rock and roll, but this is not your daddy's Republican Party. They're singing along with the Wilson sisters' harmonies, but kind of vague on the lyrics, except for the end of each verse, when they lip-sync along along: "Bar-ah-COO-dah!"

If you read the actual lyrics though, this clearly is a song to be sung by Barack Obama. He's just realized that he's about to be ambushed from the weeds by the Barracuda, and forced to his knees. Not long ago, he and "the porpoise" (Joe Biden, pre-hair plugs) were just "Selling a song," with "no right, no wrong" ? just playing "a whisper game" involving a "name." This is clearly a reference to the "McSame" meme on which they were relying so much. And "sell me, sell you," the porpoise and the singer croon to each other in close harmony. Oh, yeah: It's about Obama and Biden, all right.

But the singer has to dive down deep to save his head, presumably from the Barracuda, which gives both him and the porpoise the blues. Sounds about right: I suspect last night, Obama's head felt like it was ready to explode as those zingers landed. Then they tried to flee by swimming "all that night and all the next" (clearly referring to Wednesday night's speech by Palin and tonight's by McCain) to the "western pools," but the singer recognizes they were "silly fools" to do that ? Alaska being our western-most non-island state, with our longest shoreline and pools aplenty.

Finally, unless the "real thing" is a veiled reference to Coca-Cola, I suspect the lines about that, and burning "it" (i.e., their chances) down to the wick, are the singer addressing the porpoise again, rather than the Barracuda. The singer wants the supposedly older and wiser porpoise to "make up something quick" if the porpose's own limited powers of speech and debate can't carry the day in a verbal duel with the Barracuda. In which event, the repeated and final line, "Ooooh, barracuda" becomes understandable as a lament, a warning, sung by ... chum.

And to think just how many times I've listened to this song over the last thirty years without realizing how profound it would become! And the background in this video (from back when the Wilson sisters were both incredibly hot) shows that, yes, it's patriotic!

These GOP delegates are not a-skeered anymore about the notion of their Veep nominee debating Joe Biden, or Barack Obama for that matter. No, indeed, they're ready to start the pre-debate tail-gate party. Right now. Bring it, Slow Joe!

Many of us didn't even know how politically comatose we were. This is like being brought back from a long period of drugged unconsciousness, only to find out that while we were asleep, we all won the lottery! Pardon us if we feel a little bit giddy.

Ooooooooh, Sarah-Bara-COO-dah!

Full post as published by BeldarBlog on September 04, 2008 (boomark / email).