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: Random Ramblings About Life and Law School

ADHD and law school?

So, I went to my doctor a few weeks ago because the stress of working full time and going to law school at night was starting to make me irritable and moody. But secretly, my other big concern was that I noticed how ridiculously hard it has been for me to pay attention in class, even when I liked the subject. Obviously not being able to follow the professor's lecture because you're mind is somewhere else all the time isn't exactly conducive to learning! Usually I'd hear the first 3-4 sentences of what a professor was saying, then my mind would start to drift off again, even when I told myself "Ok, come on now, focus this time!" Often I'd suddenly realize that the professor had asked a question, but I had no idea what they had been talking about, let alone what the question was!

I don't remember school being like that for me before, but it may just be that back then I didn't know any different. Now, I've been out of school for 10 years so it's probably much more noticeable. When I went to my doctor, in the back of my mind I was wondering if I had ADD. It would seem to make sense... it would explain my talkativeness, being so easily distracted and forgetful, having a hard time following the lectures, and a bunch of other stuff.

But no.

She thinks I'm depressed.

What!? That's everyone's reaction is when I tell them this, including mine.

So then I talked to another doctor, one I work with who specializes in ADHD. This was the conversation:

Me: "Do you know anyone who specializes in ADD around [my area]?"
Doc: "No, there aren't many who do.... [long silence] Why?"
Me: "Well... lately I've been starting to think that maybe I have it"
Doc: [practically interrupting me] "Yeah, I think you do! I'm surprised it took you so long."

This led to him saying "You must be really smart, to accomplish all you have with a disability. Imagine what you could do without it?"

Um... a disability? ME??? It's still hard to think of it that way. I mean, is it really a disability? I suppose when your brain is wired to perceive input in a way that's different than the norm you can say it's a disability in that it creates problems for the person who's different. But still...

Anyway, yesterday I saw a nurse practitioner who specializes in ADHD, and I was officially diagnosed with it. I'm supposed to start dexedrine, but it's going to be a week before it comes in because pharmacies don't carry it in stock. Hopefully it'll make a difference in my grades. I mean, imagine how much less I must have in my notes than my classmates do?

So there. My secret's out. Let's see how this year goes!

Full post as published by Random Ramblings About Life and Law School on August 12, 2008 (boomark / email).