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Switching to Intravenous Diet Coke

By Anonymous

I have a half-written post from Thursday about the graduating student's dinner and how much I don't want to leave Chicago, but the events of the past few days require me to write (whine) about something else first. It all began Friday morning when my baby morphed from sometime demon-baby to full-time demon-baby just as I started packing for our 2-day trip to Louisville. JP was swimming so I was left holding a screaming fussing non-napping Landon and looking around helplessly at all the things that needed to be done. We left late, but made the drive in just over 5 hours and arrived in time for the amazing rehearsal dinner at the Churchill Downs museum. It really was beautiful- and in such a neat location! We got to take a tour of the track, learn about the history and horses, and eat and drink lots of delicious things. Unfortunately, Landon was not as impressed as we were and fussed pretty much the whole time. My aunt (mother of the groom) has a friend with a baby one month younger than Landon and after seeing how good natured and easy this baby was, and hearing how he slept 12 hours at night and had never been sick, JP and I definitely felt a little sorry for ourselves. Later, when Landon was up every few hours and we were so tired, I just started crying. Every now and then on really bad nights JP will say something about not wanting any more kids, and that night, for the first time, I told him I didn't either. And I really meant it- and I might still mean it. We spent Saturday walking around pretty downtown Louisville and hoping Landon would take a nap. He did not. We went to the wedding ceremony, spent 90% of it outside in the grass so that Landon's squeaking noises wouldn't dominate the wedding video, and then took off for the 5-hour drive back. Given that Landon didn't sleep all day we were sure he would sleep in the car ride home, but he instead chose to scream for nearly two hours before petting his blanket and settling down for a little nap.

Luckily, the Landon seems to know when he has us at a breaking point and he did sleep from the time finished unpacking at 1 AM (he crawled around for that 30 minutes) to 7:30 this morning. I hadn't touched a law book or outline in three days and planned to move into the library until my M&A final Tuesday morning (which will be immediately followed by Environmental Law on Wednesday morning, the same day the movers come). JP started feeling sick yesterday, but I figured it was just due to extreme lack of sleep and he'd get over it with a good night's rest. But starting around 2:00 this morning (1 hour after we got in bed) he was on fire, but shaking with chills. He was covered in blankets and clutching a heating pad and said he was freezing. This morning he woke up soaked in sweat, still burning outside and freezing inside, and feebly insisting that I go to the library while he took care of Landon. Of course I ignored him and spent the morning nursing him and keeping Landon from yanking all of Lilly's hair out. We had a scare when his temperature shot up to 104.1 from 102 in 45 minutes, but with more liquids and some tylenol we got it back under control.

It is now 8:45 and I am opening my backpack for the first time since Wednesday. Both of my boys are asleep and I have a very long night of studying ahead of me. I'm desperately hoping JP is better in the morning because I will be staring at a blank word document on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings for those exams if I don't do spend tomorrow cramming. I still haven't even read an outline and while I was feeling okay about that a few days ago I'm getting that suffocating panicky feeling right now. I have 5 days, 3 finals, 1 move, 1 mercifully pleasant baby, and 1 very sick husband. I know things will work out and I know that in a month we'll be settled in our house, I'll have my JD, and we'll joke (or at least not cry) about this week. But right now I feel like diet coke and some sort of survival instinct are all that's keeping me from collapsing in a teary little puddle on the floor.

Full post as published by Lag Liv on May 25, 2008 (boomark / email).