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: Magic Cookie

Time is on my side

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Citations wrote this comment on LL's post about a moment of wondering whether it was a mistake to have kids:

And of course it wasn't a mistake at all. It is, though, a sweet day when you look at each other and realize that soon it will be just the two of you again, and you're still young enough to enjoy it. ;)

Which made me realize that when I'm 50, K will be 21!

(And K's little sister will be 17 and getting ready for college, and JW will have his own talking-head pundit show on MSNBC, and me... oh, I don't know, I'll roam the streets handing out free legal advice by day and tap dance professionally by night. And solve crimes, but only the kind with no blood like in Encyclopedia Brown. And in my spare time I'll volunteer at those orphanages where they need people to sit there and hold babies. I know those are in Romania but by then we'll be able to teleport. Or maybe I'll be general counsel at a company that designs teleportation devices. I'm sure there will be lots of legal issues involving splinching.)

My point is, I keep thinking of parenthood as this more or less permanent condition of subordinating my life to my kids'. But at 50 I'll still have lots of time ahead of me to pursue my career and travel and take long walks with JW and learn how to play the piano. I only have to do this for two more decades. Wait, I only get to do this for two more decades? It sounds infinitely long and right around the corner at the same time.

I know this isn't particularly deep, but it just hit me when I read that comment.

The other day I held my arms out and K toddled into them and we fell down laughing, and I said to JW, "You know how I always say I won't miss his newborn phase? I'm really going to miss this."

P.S. - I just reread my previous post. I've been getting maudlin lately, haven't I? I think it's the whole turning-thirty-reflecting-on-life thing.

Full post as published by Magic Cookie on April 08, 2008 (boomark / email).