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Leaves!

By Fannie

Today I'm going to take a break from political blogging (and on a Thursday of all days!) and post what I think is one of the most endearing coming-out revelations portrayed on television. From Grey's Anatomy, we have Erica Hahn, MD, newly-realized Alpha Lesbian.

[Note: This clip does not contain graphic depictions of sex, but it could be NSFW if you work for, like, Focus on the Family or something. In which case, why are you even interested in watching a video featuring lady lovers?]

Rough translation/description: Callie and Erica are lying in bed after having sex. Oddly, they are still, like, completely clothed, but I digress:

Erica: [laughing] That was a-mazing.

Callie: [smiling] Yay! It was for me too.

Erica: I mean... that was amazing!

Callie: [Getting up from bed] Me too!

Erica: [Still in bed, watching Callie] My whole life. My whole adult life I have been with men and it always felt... fine. I mean, good. I just never... I mean. I did. But, not like this. This is like needing glasses.

Callie: Have I blinded you?

Erica: When I was a kid... I would get these headaches. So, I went to the doctor and they said I needed glasses. And it didn't make sense to me because I could see fine. And then I get the glasses and I put them on and I'm in the car on the way home. Suddenly, I yell. [starts to laugh and cry]. Because the big green blobs that I've been staring at my whole life weren't big green blobs. They were leaves, on trees. I could see the leaves. And I didn't even know I was missing the leaves. I didn't even know leaves existed. And then... leaves! You [looks at Callie] are glasses.

Callie: [Starts to look a little freaked out]

Erica: [laughing] I am so gay. I am so so SO gay. I am extremely gay.

Callie: Ummm... I have to go. [Abruptly leaves].]

1) So, after contemplating this scene for two seconds, it struck me that I relate to Erica here. Both with the needing glasses bit when I was a kid, and the feeling so gay bit after first kissing a woman. Oh, and also, the having my first girlfriend panic afterwards and slowly back out the door like, "Welp that was great but I'm outta here, I'm not gay or anything."

Which, you know, I can totes laugh about now but it did kind of suck at the time to be in an intensely secretive relationship. (It gets better). Not that my first girlfriend's somewhat slower realization of her own sexual identity diminished my own feelings of gayness. My reaction was more like, "Come on! It's so amaZING! Everyone just be gayyyyyyy! I can see leaves!"

Shut up. I was 19.

2) I'm not crazy about how the writers disappeared Erica and I do think Callie's latest love interest Arizona Robbins is pretty awesome, but Erica will always have a place in my heart (er, I mean, um, Callie's heart), not only because she's a kick-ass fictional surgeon, but because she was pretty laid back about Callie's coming-out shenannigans with Dr. You-Know-Who. (Although her "you can't only be kind-of a lesbian" comment to Callie wasn't cool).

3) While I think Callie's lesbian/bisexual freakouts with Erica were maybe a bit exaggerated, I adore Sara Ramirez's portrayal of Callie. She's one of the few women in television whose body size is larger than Hollywood's Usual Standards For the Ladies where you're basically "plus-sized" if you're over a size 4. And yet, her character is written to be and is portrayed as funny, sexy, sexual, smart, attractive, uncertain, scared, human, healthy, and to top it all off, capable of "build[ing] arms and legs out of nothing." She is a superstar.

4) Why did Erica wear a doiley to bed? NTTAWTT.

Talk about whatever you want in the comments. Especially if it involves my fave topic of sapphic subtext or maintext.

Full post as published by Fannie's Room on March 24, 2011 (boomark / email).