The Plays of Virgina Tech Shooter Cho Seung-Hui: Richard McBeef and Mr. Brownstone

17 Apr

Filed Under Evidence Room, Citizen Justice, Virginia Tech Shooting | Leave a Comment

Virginia Tech’s Cho Seung-Hui was known by few on campus until yesterday, but those who knew him from English class knew an eerily quiet, disturbed student who wrote creepy plays about families throwing hammers and chainsaws at one another. Plays creepy enough to cause his creative writing instructor to recommend counseling.

USLaw Celebrity Justice has obtained the violent text of Cho Seung-Hui’s play Richard McBeef. (Bookmark to be alerted to other plays and writing currently being processed.)

Richard McBeef

ACT ONE

SCENE 1

(It is morning.  The sun is s shining through the windows of
the kitchen. John enters the kitchen, grabs a cereal bar,
and opens it. Richard I~1cBeef is sitting in the kitchen
with his legs crossed reading the newspaper.)

RICHARD
Hey John.

(He forces a smile at him.)

JOHN
What�s up, Dick!

(He frowns.)

RiCHARD
Try dad.

JOHN
You ain�t my dad and you know it, you Dick.

(John chews on the cereal bar angrily.)

RICHARD
Come on, John. Sit down. 1�~e need to have man-to-man talk.

(Richard pulls a chair next to him from under the table.)

JOHN
Man�to�man up your ass1 bud!

(John sneers Lhen proceeds to the living room and turns on
the TV. Richard follows him, sits down, and faces him.)

RICHARD
I may not be your biological father, but I�m your new father.
We live under the same roof. We really need to get along. Come
on, son, give me a chance.

(Richard gently rests his hand on John's lap.)
hand on John�s lap.)

JOHN
What the hell are you doing!

(John slaps Ricahrds's hand.)

JOHN (Cont'd)
What are you, a Catholic priest! I will not be molested by an
aging balding overweight pedophilic stepdad named Dick!
Get your hands off me you sicko!  Damn you, you Cathloic
priest. Just stop it, Michael Jackson. Let me guess, you
have a pet named Dick in Neverland ranch and you want me to
go with you to pet him1 right?

(He sighs and ignores the comment.)

What is it you want from me, what do you want me to do?  Why
are you so angry at me--

Text of Richard McBeef play by Virginia Tech Cho Seung-Hui

17 Apr

Filed Under Evidence Room | 2 Comments

The text of Richard McBeef and Mr. Brownstone, plays wrttien by Virginia Tech shooter Cho Seung-Hui, also known as question mark and Ismail Ax:

Richard McBeef 

ACT ONE 

SCENE 1 

(It is morning.  The sun is s shining through the windows of
the kitchen. John enters the kitchen, grabs a cereal bar,
and opens it. Richard I~1cBeef is sitting in the kitchen
with his legs crossed reading the newspaper.) 

RICHARD
Hey John. 

(He forces a smile at him.) 

JOHN
What?s up, Dick! 

(He frowns.) 

RiCHARD
Try dad. 

JOHN
You ain?t my dad and you know it, you Dick. 

(John chews on the cereal bar angrily.) 

RICHARD
Come on, John. Sit down. 1?~e need to have man-to-man talk. 

(Richard pulls a chair next to him from under the table.) 

JOHN
Man?to?man up your ass1 bud! 

(John sneers Lhen proceeds to the living room and turns on
the TV. Richard follows him, sits down, and faces him.) 

RICHARD
I may not be your biological father, but I?m your new father.
We live under the same roof. We really need to get along. Come
on, son, give me a chance. 

(Richard gently rests his hand on John's lap.)
hand on John?s lap.) 

JOHN
What the hell are you doing! 

(John slaps Ricahrds's hand.) 

JOHN (Cont'd)
What are you, a Catholic priest! I will not be molested by an
aging balding overweight pedophilic stepdad named Dick!
Get your hands off me you sicko!  Damn you, you Cathloic
priest. Just stop it, Michael Jackson. Let me guess, you
have a pet named Dick in Neverland ranch and you want me to
go with you to pet him1 right? 

(He sighs and ignores the comment.) 

What is it you want from me, what do you want me to do?  Why
are you so angry at me-- 

JOHN
Why am I so angry at you! Because you murdered my father so
you can get into in my morn?s pant! 

RICHARD
Now hold on right there mister. It was a boating accident.
I did everything I could to try to save your father. 

JOHN
Bullshit! Are you always full of slAt, McBeef? I can see
that you are by the extra fat you have packed on! You
MURDERED my father and covered it up! You committed a
cons irac . Just like what the overninent has done to John
Lennon and Marilyn Monroe. 

RICHARD
WHAT? WHAT? 

(Frowning, he catches a glimpse of an old tabloid titled
?The Cover-up of Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon! !?) 

JOHN
You once worked for the government. As a janitor, at least.
You hated the fact that my niom was with my dad. You knew
my morn was too good for my father. So you took him out and
stole her, you son of a bitch~ 

RICHARD
St?  

JOHN
No, DickJ You shut the hell u and listen to me. 

RICHARD
You- 

JOHN
Me what[ You want me to stick this remote control up your
ss, buddy~ You ain?t even worth it man. This remote was
five bucks. You are such a-- 

RICHARD
NOW THAT?S ENOUGH. 

(Richard raises his hand to
strike his stepson, but before
he does John?s mom comes down the stairs.) 

SUE
Oh my godL What?s going on? 

(She covers and hu s John and
ushers him to the other end of
the couch.) 

What are you doing to m son!  You said ou would have a nice
chat to get on terms with him. And this is what I catch you
do~ What kind of step?father are you? Pretending to be nice
to hi~ with a take smile on your chubby facet Tell me, what
were you trying to do to him. You were about to hit him!
Damn you, Richard! 

RICHARD
He was? SUE 

I don?t want to hear it~ 

(Sue tells John to go up to
his room. But he observes the
spectacle half way up the
staircase.) 

RICHARD
I swear Sue! I tried talking to him. He called me a son of a bit?  

SUE
How dare you[ John would never?NEVER--say such a thing, my poor
little pocey pooey boy! He lost his father just a month ago.
Show some compassion! Some stepfather! 

JOHN
He tried to touch my privates. 

SUE 

(She gasps) 

Holy shxt! Oops. Sorry John. Dick, You son of a b? 

(She peeks at John. She
a r aches Richard and sla s
Richard in the head multiple
times. Taking off her shoes,
she hits him hard.) 

RICHARD 

(He brushes Sue with his large
arm and build.) 

Sue Sue Sue. Listen to me!

Keep going Joe

12 Apr

Filed Under Joe Francis, Snoop Dogg | Leave a Comment

Read Indictment

Not a good week for Girls Gone Wild. First founder Joe Francis was arrested for pissing off a federal judge. Then pitchman and celebrity host Snoop Dogg pleads no-contest to felony drug and weapon charges. Now, Francis is indicted on tax evasion charges for concealing over $20,000,000 of income in 2002 and 2003. Perhaps he should make himself comfortable in his jail cell.

Does this Dogg have Nine Lives?

12 Apr

Filed Under Snoop Dogg | Leave a Comment

Arrested, convicted, and shot, each many times over, rapper Calvin Broadus (aka Snoop Dogg) has been convicted of several serious crimes. Only to live another day. He sill faces a number other charges that have accummulated in a series of arrests over the last six months. Paris Hilton may face the threat of real jail time for driving with a suspended license, but the Snoop Dogg has managed, through charges as serious as murder, to avoid spending time in the big dog house.

How many lives does this cat have?

The notorious Dogg currently faces felony charges stemming from the September discovery of a collapsible baton in his bag while travelling through John Wayne Airport in Orange County. He was arrested the very next month, outside another sourthern California airport after police found a handgun and marijuana in his car. He was then arrested again in November outside NBC Studios after an appearance on “The Tonight Show” when police found the cocaine, a semiautomatic firearm, and a large amount of marijuana in his possession.

Mistress 13: “So, do you like to be Tied Up?”

11 Apr

Filed Under Astronut | Leave a Comment

Remember James Lovell heroically saving ill-fated spacecraft Apollo 13 by jerryrigging a homemade gas valve with duct tape and other spare parts? Apparently NASA is still teaching such home brew skills. Love-torn Atstronut Lisa Nowak gathered plenty of home items when she made her non-stop diaper laden drive to find the women that stole her boy friend. We knew about the BB gun, brand new steel mallet, knife, and rubber tubing that were immediately found in her car. Now we learn what she may have wished to do with these items. According to a forensic examination report by the Orlando Police Department, sixteen images on a disk found in her car depicted bondage scenes showing images and drawings of a nude woman.

Did she like to be tied up? Did she plan to tie up her rival? Which would make a better film? Lovell’s exploits were captured to much fanfare by Tom Hanks in the film Apollo 13. Who will play play the part of Lisa Nowak? When her scheduled trial starts in September, she may have to claim an interest in the former for these potentially incriminating images not to bolster the prosecution’s argument that she intended to harm her victim.

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