Text of Richard McBeef play by Virginia Tech Cho Seung-Hui

17 Apr

The text of Richard McBeef and Mr. Brownstone, plays wrttien by Virginia Tech shooter Cho Seung-Hui, also known as question mark and Ismail Ax:

Richard McBeef 

ACT ONE 

SCENE 1 

(It is morning.  The sun is s shining through the windows of
the kitchen. John enters the kitchen, grabs a cereal bar,
and opens it. Richard I~1cBeef is sitting in the kitchen
with his legs crossed reading the newspaper.) 

RICHARD
Hey John. 

(He forces a smile at him.) 

JOHN
What?s up, Dick! 

(He frowns.) 

RiCHARD
Try dad. 

JOHN
You ain?t my dad and you know it, you Dick. 

(John chews on the cereal bar angrily.) 

RICHARD
Come on, John. Sit down. 1?~e need to have man-to-man talk. 

(Richard pulls a chair next to him from under the table.) 

JOHN
Man?to?man up your ass1 bud! 

(John sneers Lhen proceeds to the living room and turns on
the TV. Richard follows him, sits down, and faces him.) 

RICHARD
I may not be your biological father, but I?m your new father.
We live under the same roof. We really need to get along. Come
on, son, give me a chance. 

(Richard gently rests his hand on John's lap.)
hand on John?s lap.) 

JOHN
What the hell are you doing! 

(John slaps Ricahrds's hand.) 

JOHN (Cont'd)
What are you, a Catholic priest! I will not be molested by an
aging balding overweight pedophilic stepdad named Dick!
Get your hands off me you sicko!  Damn you, you Cathloic
priest. Just stop it, Michael Jackson. Let me guess, you
have a pet named Dick in Neverland ranch and you want me to
go with you to pet him1 right? 

(He sighs and ignores the comment.) 

What is it you want from me, what do you want me to do?  Why
are you so angry at me-- 

JOHN
Why am I so angry at you! Because you murdered my father so
you can get into in my morn?s pant! 

RICHARD
Now hold on right there mister. It was a boating accident.
I did everything I could to try to save your father. 

JOHN
Bullshit! Are you always full of slAt, McBeef? I can see
that you are by the extra fat you have packed on! You
MURDERED my father and covered it up! You committed a
cons irac . Just like what the overninent has done to John
Lennon and Marilyn Monroe. 

RICHARD
WHAT? WHAT? 

(Frowning, he catches a glimpse of an old tabloid titled
?The Cover-up of Marilyn Monroe and John Lennon! !?) 

JOHN
You once worked for the government. As a janitor, at least.
You hated the fact that my niom was with my dad. You knew
my morn was too good for my father. So you took him out and
stole her, you son of a bitch~ 

RICHARD
St?  

JOHN
No, DickJ You shut the hell u and listen to me. 

RICHARD
You- 

JOHN
Me what[ You want me to stick this remote control up your
ss, buddy~ You ain?t even worth it man. This remote was
five bucks. You are such a-- 

RICHARD
NOW THAT?S ENOUGH. 

(Richard raises his hand to
strike his stepson, but before
he does John?s mom comes down the stairs.) 

SUE
Oh my godL What?s going on? 

(She covers and hu s John and
ushers him to the other end of
the couch.) 

What are you doing to m son!  You said ou would have a nice
chat to get on terms with him. And this is what I catch you
do~ What kind of step?father are you? Pretending to be nice
to hi~ with a take smile on your chubby facet Tell me, what
were you trying to do to him. You were about to hit him!
Damn you, Richard! 

RICHARD
He was? SUE 

I don?t want to hear it~ 

(Sue tells John to go up to
his room. But he observes the
spectacle half way up the
staircase.) 

RICHARD
I swear Sue! I tried talking to him. He called me a son of a bit?  

SUE
How dare you[ John would never?NEVER--say such a thing, my poor
little pocey pooey boy! He lost his father just a month ago.
Show some compassion! Some stepfather! 

JOHN
He tried to touch my privates. 

SUE 

(She gasps) 

Holy shxt! Oops. Sorry John. Dick, You son of a b? 

(She peeks at John. She
a r aches Richard and sla s
Richard in the head multiple
times. Taking off her shoes,
she hits him hard.) 

RICHARD 

(He brushes Sue with his large
arm and build.) 

Sue Sue Sue. Listen to me!

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